This Wasn't Your Fight
by tardistime11
Summary: Directly follows the scene in Passion where Buffy rescues Giles from the burning warehouse.


Emerging from the burning warehouse, Giles finds his strength and pushes Buffy to the ground.

"Why did you come here? This wasn't your fight!"

All of a sudden, he feels a stinging in his cheek and realizes he's falling to the ground. She's hit him. Buffy has hit him!

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He feels her arms surrounding him. He can no longer keep his emotions in check. "You can't leave me", he hears her whisper. At this, he is gone. It all becomes too much. Too overwhelming. The tears flow freely now.

It feels so good to be held. The physical reminder that there is someone there for you and you are not alone. He hugs her back, needing the contact. It's a few minutes before he's settled down enough to get his thoughts back on where they are. He hears sirens in the distance.

Regretfully pulling away, he tells Buffy "We should go before the authorities arrive". He refuses to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah… Yeah, you're right. Come on."

He sees her stand and feels her tug on his arm to pull him up. He's still a bit unsteady, so she leads him to the car with one of his arms over her shoulder.

"Give me your keys."

"What?"

"Your keys. You can't drive."

He wants to fight her on it, but at this point he just doesn't have anything in him to argue.

The drive is quiet and he finds his focus go to his shoes. It seems like just a second, but then he feels his arm shaking.

"Giles?"

He jolts and dazedly looks over towards her.

"You're home."

Home. This place isn't home. Home is where you're surrounded by family and can have good times with friends. This place? This place is full of tragedy and hopelessness.

He sits staring at the building not wanting to face the reality of it all. Buffy sees this and puts a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. He sighs and opens the car door.

Buffy follows him towards the apartment feeling saddened as he approaches the caution tape left on his front door by the police. She watches him pause and stare at it and then delicately remove it from the door frame.

After entering the flat, Buffy turns to close the door behind her. When she turns back around, she sees Giles staring down at his desk. Angelus' drawing of Jenny lay there staring back up at him.

"Giles, why don't you go take a shower and change while I clean up a bit?"

It takes him a moment to react to her words. At first Buffy wonders if he's even heard her. Slowly, and without saying a word, he turns and heads towards the bathroom; stopping briefly to grab a shirt and pants from the nearby laundry basket.

After hearing the click of the bathroom door, Buffy turns to take in the room and see the damage. Taking a deep breath, she glances over towards the stairs and decides to start at the loft and work her way down. Remembering the glass and spilled drink, she grabs some towels on the way up. She changes the sheets, cleans up the rose petals and other debris left on the floor, tidies up the living area and puts the weapons chest back in its place. The place looks just as it did normally, as if nothing had gone on here at all.

Hearing the shower still running and it having been quite a while since he entered, Buffy goes to check on Giles. She knocks on the door and, upon getting no answer, she knocks again and calls his name. Still no answer. She tests the door and it is, gratefully, unlocked. She slowly opens it while again knocking and calling out his name. No response, but she can tell he is in the shower. She approaches the tub and calls out his name again.

"Come on Giles. It's time to come out. ….Giles?… Giles?..."

With still no response, she becomes very worried. She slowly peels back the curtain afraid of what she may see. To her surprise, she doesn't see him standing there. No, he is sitting with his legs pulled up to his chest while the water sprays over him. Buffy reaches and turns off the water. At this, he seems to come out of his daze.

"Giles? Please come out now."

"Okay" he mumbles in reply.

Her heart breaks at the sound of his empty and broken voice.

Not wanting to see his nakedness and wanting to leave him with at least some modicum of dignity, Buffy turns and grabs a towel and places it on the edge of the tub.

"I'll just be in the living room if you need anything."

Pulling the door closed behind her, Buffy heads to the living room and sits on the couch, immediately placing her head in her hands fighting to hold back the tears. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slow. She needs to stay strong for him.

Giles enters the room a few minutes later. He pauses in the archway, seemingly taking in the look of the room. His face looks as though it's without any emotion. As if he's given up feeling at all. It's like he's numb to everything.

After he doesn't move, Buffy slowly stands up and heads over to him. His eyes are unfocused and staring distantly – clearly lost in a memory. She lightly grabs his forearm and he slowly turns his head towards her, looking at her hand on his arm.

"Giles, I know this is the last thing you want to do right now, but we need to do the uninvite spell so that...well…so that he can't come back in."

He nods his head in agreement and they go about performing the ritual. They work in companionable silence. After the spell is completed, Buffy has concluded that there is no way she is leaving him alone here tonight.

"You need to rest. I changed the bedding. Will you come upstairs?"

He doesn't answer but begins moving towards the stairs. She follows him along. When they reach the top of the staircase, Buffy tries to guide him towards the bed. He freezes. She turns to see what stopped him and is surprised to see that he no longer has that distant look in his eyes. They're now intensely focused like he is thinking. She reaches up and places her delicate hand on his shoulder. For the first time since the warehouse he looks her in the eyes. She can see the pain he holds in them and feels a swell of emotion inside of her and begins to tear up. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a hug. She feels selfish knowing that she is doing something to make herself feel better but is relieved when she feels his arms wrapping around her. He needs this too.

They stay like that for a while. When they finally pull apart, Buffy looks into his eyes.

"I'm staying with you tonight."

"Buffy…"

"No, I'm staying. I'm not leaving you on your own. And before you start on the 'I'm fine' and 'I don't need your help' speech, you're not fine and while you may not want me here, I _need_ to be here. I almost lost you tonight, Giles. And I'm not going to let anything happen to you. So deal with it, because I'm staying."

There are a few moments of silence and then "I love you."

"What?"

"I love you. I never told Jenny that. I wish I had. I don't want to make that mistake again. I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too, Giles."

She gives him a tight hug, but quickly pulls back and looks at him "We're talking platonic love here, right? Cause, no offence, but you're like my -"

"Yes, yes, of course. Goodness…" He looks away clearly feeling awkward.

"Sorry, just being sure. Didn't want things to be weird later. Although I guess I made them weird now…"

He gives a half-amused smile and rubs his tired eyes. "I think I'll try and sleep for a bit. Are you okay with taking the couch? I'm a bit too tall for it."

"Actually, not to continue the awkwardness – but I guess I will be continuing it – but feel free to say no if you're not okay wi—"

"Yes, you can stay here."

"Oh. Okay. I'm glad you saw where I was going with that because I'm not sure I would've ever gotten it out."

"Quite alright."

Giles shuts off the lamp before climbing into bed. They both lie on their backs in silence for a few minutes before Buffy moves to hold him, resting her head on his shoulder with his arm wrapped behind her. Exhaustion gripping her, Buffy falls asleep quickly.

Giles is exhausted and emotionally wrung out. He feels comfort in Buffy holding him and it gives him back just a sliver of hope that things may get better. He is not alone, as he had thought. He needs to be here for her. To make sure that the evil that took Jenny never lays a hand on his slayer. His outburst tonight had been dangerous and stupid and reckless and without thought of himself or others. Never again. Next time he will be prepared, and he will never again be alone.


End file.
